NOTE: Links are not much used in these Bon Mots and most will be in the quip itself, not the title As of August 8, 2024 there are 14 of these quips and only one has a linked for a title and one other has two linked words in the title so your cursor is your friend here.

"Friends are like autumn leaves, they have their season then they drop off and eventually disappear."

October 23, 2024. An observation I made while working with the free soup day when a guest commented that he used to have a lot of friends when he was young but now has very few friends.

"For every hi-tech problem there is usually a low tech solution."

Mid - late 1990's: Love my dumbphone! Never had a smartphone and hopefully I never will. Here are some links which celebrate old-tech that still rocks. I sometimes use a variation of this, "For every hi-tech problem there is usually a low tech solution. Usually it means choosing the best hammer for the job." Story to follow soonish.

"The scariest words I can ever hear are, 'I know a shortcut' "

Early - mid 1974: This is somewhat related to, "There is no excuse for bad parking," in that it came out of my experiences in driving automobiles. Read the story here.

Mid 1980's. Well, my friend John Conrad really had a shit fit when I dropped this one on him. I don't advise suicide and if you are considering it, PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE!  But life is not a fairy tale and I firmly believe that if you have never considered death as an alternative, you do not truly comprehend life. Read more here.

In the early Eighties my doctor prescribed medication for me to help me cope with a stressful situation. Short story: As a result I began looking at my state of being. I realized that while most people chase elusive happiness, I had a much better gift: contentment. I am content within myself.

"Homophobic is what you get when you leave idiots in charge of your language."

Oh my gosh I've been preaching this one forever! Homophobia, if it is a real word, has nothing to do with gender or sex. I am transgender and proudly homophobic.

Redundancy:

June 28, 2024 - I had one cookie, enough cream for two cups of coffee and no ice cream left. With Sabbath about to begin in less than an hour I walked up to the grocery store for cookies, cream and ice cream. I picked up my cookies, cream and ice cream and a few other items. As I walked home I reviewed my purchases: Cookies, cream and Cookies & Cream ice cream. Suddenly it all seemed so redundant.

Foot Model:

June 26, 2024 - When I completed working on the Kanna's grounds today I got changed for my next stop. I had changed my pants and while changing my socks and work boots I inspected my feet. I noted the ugly toenails, probably caused by one of my skin conditions and the misshapen large toe caused by that lawnmower incident previously mentioned when I observed to myself, "I guess I'll never make it as a foot model, another life goal shattered."

"I don't really have a bad memory, I just don't remember things."

June 14, 2024 - I was fielding a telephone call from my friend Ross when he asked me to remind him of something. I mentioned that he was asking a good one to remember something. Ross pointed out that I had a better memory than he but then observed that this was setting the bar low. I thought of how despite not being good at remembering to remind people of things and such, I am still good at remembering early childhood, conversations, etc. whereupon I told him, "I don't really have a bad memory, I just don't remember things."

"The good news is I am not going blind, I am just losing the ability to see."

November (?) 2022: Describing to Ross my vision loss in one eye caused by scarring on the lens.

From our Department of Lines You Will Never Hear, "I'm not going to see the new Transformers movie, I read the book."

publication date April 7, 2021 on a temporary site I made to hold ideas and posts until I had Being Jamie Lee again'

"Somebody has to be the glass of diet cola at the wine tasting."

Circa 2017: Pre-COVID. I forget the circumstance but it involved Theory # 1 and this was my description of the person referred to.

"Some are born believing themselves immortal, some of us touch our mortality the day we are born."

Publication date June 16, 2017

"No facebook, no google, no problem."

publication date February 6, 2016

publication date April 28, 2016, slightly updated June 17, 2024 version shown here

"There is no excuse for bad parking."

publication date April 28, 2016, slightly updated June 17, 2024 version shown here. This goes much further back than it's publication date, I recall in the late 1990's I was trying to make a delivery before a shop closed so I pulled up to the curb very quickly and ran into the shop. As I had stopped in a no parking zone a cop came in a little later to ask if my van was there to make a delivery. While we were chatting he mentioned my careless parking to which I laughed and confessed I am always after people telling them, "There is no excuse for bad parking," but in this case I had to dash into the shop before it could close. I did go out and park properly but clearly I had been using this line for sometime before this incident.

"I need somebody to count my toes."

Summer of 1977 -Trying to gently inform the receptionist at the emergency department of the Victoria General Hospital that I needed someone to check the damage to my toes after my foot slipped under a lawnmower as I could not be certain all of my toes were still attached to my foot. The good news is they were all attached but not all were still pretty.

"Theory #1: People are idiots."

Mid 1980's - I have to start here as this was the one that started it all. In the 1980's I was pondering humans and human behaviour as I had for most of my life when I had a eureka moment, I realized that people are idiots. Well, duh! I know, right? But this time I completed the thought and followed it through to its logical conclusion: no matter what the question, no matter what the situation, if it involved humans the answer was simple, people are idiots. It may not be as all encompassing as E=mc² but it does explain everything in the human world. Why is there war? Theory #1. Why do we not end warring? Theory #1. Why is there pollution? Theory #1. Why do we not clean up pollution? Theory #1. Even when this theory appears to fail, if you follow it through it to its conclusion it will prevail. For example, "Why was Albert Schweitzer such a good person?" Because he had to be, he was surrounded by the human race. What is the natural inference to be drawn from being surrounded by humans? Theory #1. So many celebrate their stupidity that those of us who do not must try to repair the damage when not engaging in idiocy ourselves. And yes, I plead guilty to often being an idiot just like everyone else.